Before she fought for her life, believed in what never existed, trusted too hard, jumped, believed in something for the first time…before she almost died losing a child she never got to meet…then fighting that alone lost herself…before she was put in the position she is now forced to lose everything else she ever worked for everything she ever owned or had…her family….her safety…warmth….love….support….before everyone left her to drown because she her survival never mattered enough to stay. She was the happiest version of me that ever existed she was the version that felt so secure, loved beyond reason, excited, happy, hopeful….for the first time and then influence, social media, mental health, peoples families corrupted what was rare and her she didn’t matter anymore she was the only one of anyone past or present who was never enough to fight for ….to fight to keep ….to fight to save…to apologize…to do the right thing….to not break her friends family, past people they’ve all been shown they matter, bonds fixed, or kept or fought for but never once did she matter enough did time matter enough to fix or to stay even when she was drowning she didn’t matter enough to fight for because saying you care, someone matters, you don’t want it to be like this, you can’t lose someone, you want someone around, to say you love the people you love wAs just to hard for people when you never were the one that mattered enough to….And I miss her even though I know how broken she is now I still miss what this was like. I’d still fight for that even if I knew what I know now
Moonlit Aurora 